Take It Easy!!!

Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?
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Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER..... ...using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette


another deadly answer. Scroll down a little
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Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette


If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down.
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Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)

"TIP TIP barsa Pani.

Pani ne aag lagayee."

us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".


If that was not enough even uptill now, one more deadly answer.... scroll down
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Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & "jalney lagega"

21 Things that'll Happen if the IPL is Nationalised

1. The new Commissioner of the IPL, replacing Lalit Modi, will be an IAS officer, 1989 batch, transferred from the Food Corporation of India .

2. Mayawati will demand, however, that the new Chairman should be her own candidate, Mr Dalit Modi .

3. The name of Mumbai Indians will immediately be changed to Mumbai Manus. It will, naturally, field only Maharashtrians (preferably Maharashtrian Brahmins). All other players will have their legs broken. Zaheer Khan will have his house burned down. So will Irfan Pathan, Yusuf Pathan and Mohd Kaif .

4. The Chennai Super Kings team will be renamed Dravida Cricket Kazhagam. Subsequently one faction will break away and the team will split into DCK (DMK) and AIADCK, owing allegience to Karunanidhi and Jayalalitha respectively .

5. Each political party will have its own team: BJP Bandits, Congress Cobras, CPI Cadres, Samajwadi Strikers, CPM Challengers, Trinamul Tigers etc .

6. Auction of players will be replaced by teams calling for tenders for players. The lowest priced players will be picked.

7. Sonia Gandhi will insist that 30% of each team should be reserved for women .

8. Mayawati will demand that SC/ST players will need to run for only 18 yards instead of 22 yards between the wickets .

9. Third Umpire requests will have to be filled in triplicate and duly notarized .

10. All Third Umpire decisions will be referred to a Joint Parlimentary Commission .

11. IPL tickets will henceforth be available at all post offices and BSNL centers from 10 a.m. to 12.45 p.m. The facility to purchase tickets on your cellphone will immediately be withdrawn .

12. Replacing an injured foreign player can be done only through a Tatkal application submitted 48 hours after a Govt doctor examines him .

13. Cheerleaders will be replaced by retired Air-India flight attendants .

14. These new cheerleaders will perform the folk dances of the states they represent during breaks .

15. IPL matches will be shown only on Doordarshan. They will be telecast the day immediately following the match, from 4 a.m. to 7.30 a.m. and subsequently from 3.30 p.m. to 7p.m, subject to satellite link-up availability .

16. Between each innings break Doordarshan will telecast the news in Hindi, followed by news for the hearing impaired .

17. Agricultural shots can be played only during the phase of the game termed " Krishi Darshan . "

18. There will be no matches on weekends or on national / regional holidays .

19. The three stumps will be painted saffron, white and green .

20. Bowlers will have to bowl sarpatti and ghasssarkundi balls (Hindi terms for underhand bowling) to the reserved players .

21. Pakistan will immediately announce its intention to start its own version of the tournament called PPL and Mr Zardari will make a visit to Washington to meet President Obama and seek an additional grant of $1 billion to fund it .

(Don't laugh. You never know).

Lateral Thinking!!!

This puzzle is called Lateral Thinking

Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself.

Think like a wizard . . .

man
Q1. ---------
board

Ans. = man overboard





Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.








stand
Q2. ------------
i

Ans. = I understand






hey just dont go for the answer try thinking yourself first!


OK .. . .



Got the drift ?







Let's try a few now and see

how you fare ?






Q3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/ g/

think!!

Ans. = reading between the lines

Q4. r
road
a
d

Ans. = cross road -->








Not having a good day now, are you ? (~_^)


Redeem yourself.










Q5. cycle
cycle
cycle

Ans. = tricycle








Not easy to figure out ha!












0
Q6. ---------
M.D.
Ph.D.

Ans.. = two degrees below zero









C'mon give it a little thought! !










knee
Q7. ------------
light

Ans. = neon light



( knee - on - light )









U can prove u r smart by getting this one.







ground
Q8. ---------------
feet feet feet feet feet feet

















Ans. = six feet underground






-->


Oh no, not again ! !












Q9. he's X himself

Ans. = he's by himself









Now u messing up big time.










Q10. ecnalg

Ans. = backward glance ;)








Not even close! !










Q11. death ..... life

Ans. = life after death








Okay last chance ..................



Q12. THINK

Ans. = think big ! !










And the last one is real fundoo - - -

Q13.

ababaaabbbbaaaabbbb ababaabbaaabbbb. ..

Ans. = long time no 'C'

This is what It looks like...!!!

THIS IS WHAT
SORRY
LOOKS LIKE

This is what
tired
looks like

This is what
bad spelling
looks like....

This is what
intimacy
looks like

This is what
courage
looks like



This is what
'good grief!!'
looks like



This is what your
tax dollars
look like




This is what
'I can wait'
looks like


This is what a
helping hand
looks like






This is what a
blonde's
car looks like..






This is what
cold
looks like.






This is what a
bad mood
looks like



Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so.......
'Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.

Cricket Really Intersting Moments!!!

Had Ramayan Been On FaceBook

The Non-Reliable Indian Americans!!!

AMERICANIZATION

The telephone is never "engaged", it's always "busy".

U don't "disconnect" a phone, U simply "hang-up".

U never "mess-up" things, U only "screw them up".

U never have a "residence" tel. no., U have a "home" no.

U don't stop at the "signals", but halt at the "lights".

U don't "accelerate" , U "step on the gas".

Your tire never "punctures", U may have a "flat".

The trains have "coaches" or "boggies' no more but "carriages" or "boxes".

There R no "petrol pumps", but "gas stations".

"I don't know nothing", 2 negatives don't make a positive here.

U no longer meet a "wonderful" person, U meet a "cool" guy

U don't pull the switch down to light a bulb,rather flick it up.

There's no "Business Area" only "business districts", and no "districts" but "counties".

No one stays "a stone's throw away", might"a few blocks away".

There's no "Town Side", it's "Down Town".

In hotel U no longer ask for "bill" and pay by "cheque", rather ask for "check" and pay with (Dollar) "bill's".

There R no "soft drinks", only "sodas".

Life's no longer "miserable" it "stinks".

U don't have a "great" time, U have a "ball".

U don't "sweat it out", U "work U'r butt off".

Never "post" a letter, always "mail" it and "glue" the stamps, don't "stick" them.

U no longer live in "flats" or "blocks", find an "apartment".

U no longer "like" something, U "appreciate" it.

"#" is not "hash", it's "pound".

U R not "deaf", U have "impaired hearing".

U R not "lunatic", U are just "mentally challenged".

U R not "disgusting" U R "sick".

U can't get "surprised" U get "zapped".

U don't "schedule" a meeting, U "skejule" it.

U never "joke", U just "kid".

U never "increase" the pressure, U always "crank" it up.

U never ask for a pencil "rubber" U ask for an eraser. a rubber is a condom

U don't try to find a lift U find an elevator.

U don't ask somebody "How r u ?", U say "What's up dude?"

U never go to see a game U go to watch a game.

If U see "World" champions(or Series),read "USA"champions( or Series).

There's no "zero" but "o", no "Z" but "zee".

There's no FULL STOP after a statement, there's a PERIOD.

If someone gets angry at U, U get "flamed".

You don't say "How do you do", you say "How you doin"

In short U don't speak English, U speak American.

Well u dont' say life is boring u say LIFE SUCKS !!!!!